The Feast of St. Andrew

This is in St. Peter's square in the Vatican, the heart of Christendom on Earth. In the foreground is St.Paul*(thanks), but if you look in the background, the saints line the upper outer rim of the square. And who among the Church triumphant was to stand at Christ's left directly above the entrance to St. Peter's Basilica?.... oh, snap son, St. Andrew, holla at yo' boy!













This statue of St. Andrew is from the Basilica di San Giovanni in Laterano in Rome, which myself, Andy B. (Chat), Besh, and Mark visited this past summer. Holla at yo' boy!

Driving Mr. Joe

Today, a group of us ventured to Eastern Kentucky University to do a driving safety test and obstacle course for CAP. It contained two sessions. The first was in the classroom which was horribly lame and a waste of time. We learned really only one valuable piece of information; apparently, you are supposed to put your hands at 8 and 4 now instead of 10 and 2. It completely blew my mind!...Basically, we wasted 4 hours of good work to sit in this class and go over street signs and watch movies from the late 70's. I can only wonder how many hours of work are wasted on pointless meetings....at least a fourth of my work week will be.

At any rate, I partnered up with Joe, our 77 year old New Orleans friend. First off, Joe is hilarious. Second off, Joe doesn't really like to take directions at certain times. Anyway, there was this car they had called the Monster Car, that had rear wheels like shopping cart wheels. It felt as if we were constantly driving on ice. Anyways, Joe kept spinning out and yelling out, "Oh goodness gracious!" and "AAAAHHHH".... Then there was me, in the back seat, plastered up against the back window from the power of the inertia, hands spread out plastered on the glass, trying very hard not to soil myself. The driving instructor kept yelling out, "Give it some gas! Give it some gas!", he also started singing, "giiivveeee it some gasssssss" like a Pavarotti of sorts. Then we went to the truck portion of the course. Joe was doing a figure 8 and knocked down the vast majority of the cones. I watched in the side mirror as legions of orange cone soldiers fell and were flattened from the onslaught of Joe's driving. After the deed was done, Joe went to the instructor and said, "For Andy the cones stayed still, but for me, they kept moving under the car." The man, looking white as a ghost and bewildered, tried to give us some pointers, but then he wiped his brow and staggered away.

Cheers mates.

As a heads up, the feast day of St. Andrew is coming up on Friday, November 30th. St. Andrew was crucified on November 30th, 60 A.D. Under his request, he was hung on an X-shaped cross because he deemed himself unworthy of being crucified on a cross similar to that of Christ. He hung on the cross preaching the message of Christ for two days before finally dying. Just before his crucifixion, upon seeing his cross, he uttered this prayer ("O Bona Crux").

O good Cross, made beautiful by the body of the Lord: long have I desired you, ardently have I loved you, unceasingly have I sought you out; and now you are ready for my eager soul. Receive me from among men and restore me to my Master, so that he - who, by means of you, in dying redeemed me - may receive me. Amen.

"Put a Nail in it and Let the Church Roll on."

T minus 3 days of having our hero and crew leader Ross in our presence before he abandons us and goes to maintenance, thus ending the era of fun and ushering in the era of us doing things with no direction. If we don't get another crew leader, David and I have planned to just leave and go over to the Johnson House to work over there....David has also planned on joining a boy band and touring the world.

After Thanksgiving I returned up to Chicago for Joey Fitz's bachelor party. Joe's only order to us, his fleet of groomsmen, was "I don't want any naked ladies or any combination of the two." This is funny because for us, the "typical" bachelor party was out of the question...for obvious reasons. So, we spent the night in Chicago. We started out bowling at Lucky Strike. Oddly enough, it was the closest thing to a "club" that I have ever been to...like some kind of celebrity bowling club. There were even bouncers, people in leather coats, people wearing sunglasses at night, people that had clothes from express for men, people drinking Heinekin, people calling me "cat", and so on. Anyways, after the bowling, we went to Greek town, The Athena, for dinner. I had some sausage and flaming cheese, complete with the "Opa!" from our server. We then went to Rosa's blues club over on Armitage to see some blues guitar. It was my first trip to a blues club, and it was pretty much what I imagined; smoky, people looking really sad or really happy, clanging guitar, and an 80 year old Italian woman serving beer. Doug bought me some Newcastle (Nukie Brown) and we got to watch some blues guitar and harmonica. It was a little awkward though for 5 nerdy white guys to be in this blues club with old time blues players and middle-aged former 80's rock fans who listened to blues as a way to try and "stay hip". There were also a good amount of late middle aged folks "dancing all up on" each other. Which was highly awkward. This one woman even came over to Alec and I and said "Rarrooww". As a result, we decided to scamper, he to the bar and me to the bathroom to escape this strange lady. At the bathroom door (there was only one) there were 3 other nerdy fellows waiting. The bathroom was right at the front of the stage and so everyone around us was dancing and generally moving to the blues. So, in this fashion, we all tried to sway, bob our heads, and look like we knew what we were doing and that we were" experiencing" the blues I suppose. When I finally got into the bathroom, someone had scribbled on the wall, "Gunna spend all money callin' people 'honey' and wind up singing the blues". The night was capped off when all of us went to Joe's brother's to get some sleep. It reminded me greatly of a high school band trip, complete with us being totally exhausted and sleeping in sleeping bags...Doug also snored like a buzzsaw. I woke up at 6 Sunday morning to get to mass before heading back to the Bluegrass. I half expected to see Mr. Moore with a flashlight waking up the other seniors, but alas, I did not.

Back in the Bluegrass, today was far and away the best and most efficient day of work I've had since I've been at CAP. We spent the entire day on the Rader job, my favorite job of all time. I wrote of it earlier; the father is building a house entirely by himself for his wife and 4 kids who are under 9 years old. We have a goal of getting them in the house by Christmas dinner. Today we took a big step toward achieving that goal. Jesse, David, Mr. Rader and I spent the day hanging drywall and insulation. Drywall is always a wonderful task because when you're done, the rooms of the house look like actual real rooms, like in real houses that we've seen all our lives...and all you have left after drywall is finishing work and the floors. Mr. Rader and I worked as a team and Jesse and David worked as a team, and we finished probably and eighth of the entire house. Combined with previous work, we have probably drywalled 70 percent of the house. Mr. Rader and I also insulated the ceiling, which was very itchy, as fiberglass insulation causes itching and coughing. Today, I stopped for a minute, at sunset, and looked out the new front window at a blazing orange sky and the silhouette of the fall mountains. It was so peaceful and fulfilling. I felt like I was doing work I loved for people who really needed it and really appreciated it as well. I cannot remember feeling as satisfied with a day of work as today when Mr. Rader and I were standing admiring the newly drywalled room for his daughter. This day was a gift.

Cheers.

quotes of the day;
1. When ever we come across a board that is out of place in a house, Ross says, "put a nail in it and let the Church roll on"....then he hammers in the out of place board perfectly into place with only 3 hammer strokes and says "you're all gunna miss me someday"...consequently, that day is coming in 3 days...

2. "Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around - nobody big, I mean - except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff - I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be."
~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

There and Back Again

T is for Turkey, the 18 pound turkey that sacrificed its life for our dinner.
H is for Hot handles on the pot of sprouts that Kevin burned himself on today.
A is for A huge bottle of 18 year Kentucky bourbon, which we are drinking.
N is for No fighting on Thanksgiving...
K is for Kentucky CAP volunteers, who I am thankful for.
S is for Sleeping in so as to conserve energy for consuming food.
G is for Giving a thrashing in Risk and the Turkey Bowl football game with the cousins.
I is for the Indian run to the football field to keep warm.
V is for Vanquishing an entire pumpkin pie by yourself.
I is for Intermission between my 3 plates of food.
N is for Not planning on fitting into my pants tomorrow due to the food baby in my stomach.
G is for Gaining weight, going home, and getting to see those I love.

I am thankful for my family, for the wonderful friends I have, both new and old, for all the volunteers I serve with and live with, for all the people who allow us to serve them and who share their lives with us, for food, for pie, for the Bears defense, for tradition, for G. K. Chesterton, for tables with friends around, for whirly ball, for St. John's, for Amanda, for all the people and places I have been, for all I know who have made my life what it is. Thanks.

Many Meetings

Its good to see that we're back to Lord of the Rings chapter titles being titles of blog entries.

I find myself back in Chicago for the first time since late August. There are a few differences though. The wind blows a little bit colder, the once lush trees and grass are now brown and shadowy, and it gets dark around 3:00 in the afternoon, or so it seems. I traveled back here via Brian's chariot, "the boat", as many of you know it. The boat was a bit worrisome on the hills of Kentucky, but it made it gracefully and with much style to spare.The main reason I returned to Illinois was to usher and witness the wedding of my good friends Erin and Kevin. They decided to give me the honor of usher, along with Sean, Erin's cousin, and it was my first attempt at the task. The highlight of the task was when Sean and I had to unroll the huge landing strip of fabric for the wedding party to process up. We had to unroll this white fabric, starting at the front of the aisle and bring it all the way back to the rear of the church. Well, apparently, the white linen did not come more than 6 inches off the ground. So, Sean and I, being the pros that we are, squatted down and did this carefully orchestrated crouched waddle all the way down the aisle. It was widely agreed among those present that this was 'highly amusing'. But, other than our sorry display, the ceremony and reception were beautiful. After being in catering for 4 years, I've seen my fair share of weddings, and this was by far one of the classiest ones I've see.....and I've served a lot of weddings. For example, you don't want your pre -dinner music to be too loud. You don't want a DJ with a silver, sparkled vest. You do want your chicken to be cooked properly. You want to cut the cake BEFORE dinner, so it can be plated in a timely fashion....before dinner people. You do want wine, decent table wine, nothing to fancy, but nothing that comes in a box. You do want some food to be served before the meal itself, people are usually starving after the marriage ceremony. Anyways, just a few observations from a retired caterer.

One of the best parts about coming home is seeing so many people who I only get to see once a year, or less. And, much of this is done in and around Chicago. Things move much...MUCH faster up here. I actually don't think one could notice it unless one is removed from the city...or university town, for a good amount of time. Traveling on 294, and 290, getting in the traffic jams and seeing people fly off the handle at each other, I longed to be back on our small country road, deep in the woods. But on the other hand, if I was back on that country road, I'd have to travel for almost 2 hours to get a Guinness, or hear a little guitar. But, at least I wouldn't have to deal with those crazy blue lights under the highway I-PASS lanes. I'm pretty certain that they do give you cancer...or at least scan your brain. It's just a trade off I suppose.

Being back in Chicago has made me realize one more thing...how much outside of the volunteer community you really need money. Money is always a touchy subject. But, as volunteers...we don't make much of it. And, I'm not complaining, mind you, but it's a very difficult situation. We can't exactly go out for a nice dinner with old friends, we can't buy more than one or two beers at the bar. We can't just go to the mall if we need new shoes, new clothes, or even a pretzel. When we spend, we have to plan a bit more than the...employed. It's a hard trade off because on the one hand, you become free from the commercial and material sense of money but you become much more at the mercy of unpredictable events in life. You are free from the power of money, but have no power of money.

Lastly, I was thinking on a topic that comes up often in the volunteer life, the purpose of why we volunteer; how do you break the cycle of poverty. There are some that theorize and believe that it is through education, improving the schools of an area and thus enriching future generations. Some believe that big government will solve the problem, increasing income taxes and allowing government guidance of where money is needed and allocation to individual families. Still others believe that non-for profits will solve the problem. Others think that charity either checked or unchecked by prudence will solve the situation. Or maybe its one of the thousands of possible solutions. The answer of course is, yes...it is probably one or a combination of many of these things (except big government, of course). But, it occurred to me, while driving through Wilmette, Illinois, one of the richest suburbs maybe in existence. Driving past the multi million dollar mansions with 4 cars out front. I thought immediately of how many rooms in that mansion were empty now, at this very moment, and how little space there is in so many of trailers in our county. I thought of how many rooms were so pleasantly heated while so many rooms not 5 miles from our home in Kentucky remained cold. I thought of how many cars out front wouldn't be driven that week, and how many people in our county need a ride to work. It occurred to me; poverty will always exist as long as the people who have more than they need keep from those who need more than they could ever want. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not a class warrior, and I don't think these folks are evil or hateful or any of those things, just because they have money. But, as long as individuals, as long as good people, worry about how much less they have than the people to their right and overlook how much more they have than the people to their left, as long as people ignore obvious problems, be it on the tv, in their country, or on their own street corner, poverty will always exist.

Cheers mates.

The Ballad of the White Horse.

This is a small excerpt from "The Ballad of the White Horse" by G. K. Chesterton, one of my favorite authors. The ballad tells the tale of Alfred, a Christian king, who was charged with the heavy task of turning away the invading pagans from England. This particular passage captures how I'm feeling right now; like during the battle of Christendom when all fortune had turned ill and hope stood on the brink.


"But heavier fates have fallen
The horn of the Wessex kings,
And I blew once, the riding sign,
To call you to the fighting line
And glory and all good things.

"And now two blasts, the hunting sign,
Because we turn to bay;
But I will not blow the three blasts,
Till we be lost or they.

"And now I blow the hunting sign,
Charge some by rule and rod;
But when I blow the battle sign,
Charge all and go to God."

Wild stared the Danes at the double ways
Where they loitered, all at large,
As that dark line for the last time
Doubled the knee to charge--

And caught their weapons clumsily,
And marvelled how and why--
In such degree, by rule and rod,
The people of the peace of God
Went roaring down to die.

And when the last arrow
Was fitted and was flown,
When the broken shield hung on the breast,
And the hopeless lance was laid in rest,
And the hopeless horn blown,

The King looked up, and what he saw
Was a great light like death,
For Our Lady stood on the standards rent,
As lonely and as innocent
As when between white walls she went
And the lilies of Nazareth.

One instant in a still light
He saw Our Lady then,
Her dress was soft as western sky,
And she was a queen most womanly--
But she was a queen of men.

...

"The Mother of God goes over them,
Walking on wind and flame,
And the storm-cloud drifts from city and dale,
And the White Horse stamps in the White Horse Vale,
And we all shall yet drink Christian ale
In the village of our name.

Home, Home, Where I Wanted to Go

Where is home? I've wondered where home is, and I realized, it's not Mars or someplace like that, it's Indianapolis when I was nine years old. I had a brother and a sister, a cat and a dog, and a mother and a father and uncles and aunts. And there's no way I can get there again.
-Kurt Vonnegut (author and crackpot...good quote though)

There are things you just can't do in life. You can't beat the phone company, you can't make a waiter see you until he's ready to see you, and you can't go home again.
-Bill Bryson


As the Indiana State Trooper came up to the window with his aviator sunglasses, carefully polished shirt buttons, stiff hat, and generally pissed demeanor, the only thing I could think was, "I wonder if this unplanned stop will make me late for Eucharistic Adoration..." This past weekend, I traveled via a rented PT Cruiser (aka "the cruiser") back to Champaign Urbana to see my good friends. At St. John's this weekend, the 95th Koinonia retreat took place. Koinonia is the Greek word for community, and this is a retreat program that I had been heavily involved in at the Newman Center. I spent a great deal of time, prayer and love in Koinonia, and in return, Koinonia helped me develop spiritually into the adult Catholic I am today. I met some of my greatest friends here. Many I love remain heavily involved in the program. And that, dear reader, makes me happy.

I left Kentucky in the early afternoon, Friday, bound for St. John's and those I love. I quickly figured out that if I traveled...expeditiously in the cruiser, I could arrive at St. John's just in time for Eucharistic Adoration. For those of you who may not know what that is, Adoration is a time when the Blessed Sacrament, the Eucharist, is exposed in a monstrance and Catholics come to pray and be in the presence of Christ. The best way I can describe it to you is like meeting your most dear friend, a friend who knows you better than you know yourself, and having a long, wonderful conversation. The priest then comes out and does Eucharistic Benediction, where he blesses those present with the monstrance containing the Eucharist, and the Divine Praises are sung along with ceremonial songs. I had not been to Adoration since I was last in Champaign in July. And I SORELY miss it. Last year, I went almost every day along with Daily Mass. It was in Adoration that I realized I was coming to CAP, in addition to several other important directions in life. The Eucharist is the focal point of a Catholic's life, it is central in my life. I made it to Champaign just in time, despite the...detour in Indiana.

After Adoration, a large group of us participated in the Stations of the Cross for the retreatants. Stations of the Cross is a portrayal of the Passion and death of Christ. I played the part of Barabbas...my traditional role. And I was meant for the stage, let me tell you. I got to see Andy and Frodo, along with so many others. After stations were over, Will, Katie, B-Gor, Bambi and I went out to Crane Ally to meet up with my good friend who I haven't seen in a while, beer. And, just my luck, they had my favorite beer, "Robert the Bruce" made by the Three Floyd's Brewery, on tap! I also had a Victory beer called "Hop Devil' which was so hoppy it would even make Dave squint. It was great to be back in Urbana, to see Fever, go to my old room, the kitchen with the piles of dishes, the couches, the porch. It was strange, almost as if I did not leave. I almost started to do the dishes and shoot Will with a nerf gun...but I found myself unarmed and without any will to do dishes.

This was my first time back to Champaign since coming to Cap. It was an odd experience, and a wonderful one. It got me thinking about where my home actually is. Home for me will always be where my parents live, near the city by the lake, the place where I was born. But in many ways, home is also Fever, it remains to be Fever to this day. It is the cornfields south of campus, the Psych building, the Blind Pig, and of course the 8th pew back on the left side of St. John's Catholic Chapel. In many ways, the Jackson House is starting to become my home... if it isn't already. After you leave college, you are, in many respects, homeless. You have certain places where you keep all your stuff, and where you lay your head at night, but the spirit of home leaves you for a little while. There are many...many people who I saw this weekend that I wish I could go back to seeing on a daily basis. I miss seeing John in Daily Mass, video games with Andy and Will, Mass with Fr. Robert, coffee with Dave, movies, corn mazes, campus, and class with too many people to be listed here . It was almost as if I didn't want to leave Champaign, but knew it was not right for me to stay there either. As Monseigneur says, "My autobiography will be called, 'Everybody Leaves.'" And, I guess that's true.

As I drove down 74 and back into Kentucky, hope was rekindled in me. I knew that I have something to do down here, with CAP, before the end, and that I mean to see it through. I feel that this is the right place for me, volunteering, but that fact really didn't make leaving any easier.

Cheers.

Now Listening to: Nickel Creek, "Why Should the Fire Die?"
Now Watching: Big Fish
Now Reading: The Two Towers
Now Wearing: Illinois t-shirt

don't worry, I got off with a warning.

Oh Abrams, My Abrams!

Today we got news that there is a good chance that our crew leader, hero, and local legend, Ross Abrams will be leaving housing after 28 years of service to the people here. The sadness in our hearts is so great that I can only modify a Walt Whitman poem to describe it. I have not the words to describe it, for me, the grief is still too near. O CAPTAIN! my Captain! our fearful trip is done;
The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won;
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of stink bombs,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Gone to maintanence.
O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills;
For you bouquets and ribbon’d wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding;
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head;
It is some dream that on the deck,
You’ve left us to go to maintainence.
My Captain does not answer, his lips are filled with potted meat;
My father does not feel my arm, he his eating the greens of beets;
The ship is anchor’d safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip, the victor ship, comes in with object won;
Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells!
But I, with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain gone,
Gone to maintainence. ....I think we may have made a mistake leaving the Shire, Pip.

What ever you do, don't look that goat in the eye

This past weekend, Jennie, David, myself, little David (aka Upper Body Strength man), and Anna all traveled out to the east side to visit all of our friends in Johnson County. The Johnson house is kind of like our house 2.0; very new, very nice...a nice place to visit I'd say. The weekend's highlight was the 18 foot tall teepee we built in their back yard. UBS man, being a Illinois engineer, quickly took the reigns and asked what 18 feet times pi was so as to determine the precise calculations for the tarp we would use to wrap around the huge poles. Once we connected the tarp with duck tape, the Davids shimmied their way up the poles to attach the tarp at the top. Most of us started out sleeping in the teepee at night but only a few of us stayed in there until morning. It was widely agreed that the teepee was a success and most satisfactory.

We recently started working on a job that I have dreamed of working on since I came to CAP. The Rader family is a husband, wife, and 4 kids, all under the age of 9; 3 girls and one boy who is about a year old. Their father has been building their home basically on his own. He is a mason by trade, so the workmanship is all superb. But, he has been working on the house at night and on the weekends, trying to get it ready for inspections and ultimately living, so the progress can only go so fast. It is a touching job to all of us, especially after meeting the little ones. The little boy doesn't walk yet, but he does scoot around on his butt on the floor. The girls all have smiles that strike right to your heart and make you smile yourself, despite how overworked and cold you are. Its a blessing just to be there and to work on their home. I would love more than anything to have the family in the house at Christmas...we all told Ross we'd work night and day to see it done. It's an ambitious goal...but that's just how we like it. When you work on jobs like this, you can almost get glimpses into the future. As you install a window, you can just about see a little girl looking out the window of her new room at a soft snowfall. As you put in a porch, you can see a mother reading to her son on the porch swing, waving goodbye to a child leaving home to make their way in the wide world, or waiting there patiently for their return. You put in a stove and you imagine how many good meals will be cooked there, children learning to cook there. You put in insulation and you see all the children sleeping quietly and warmly. You work for the hope of better times. You work for the love of the family who deserve, more than anything, a warm, dependable place to grow and live. You work because God has put you there to help this family build their home. And that's why it's a blessing.

Today, we were over at the house working on sofit, bird boxes on the roof corners (they're not really for birds, they're just square boxes where the sloped part of the roof meets the front), and house wrap to prepare for siding. So, I'm cutting a piece of wood with a circular saw when all the sudden I hear some rustling in the brush behind me. I turn around to see 6 huge goats just staring at me, looking puzzled and generally pissed. So I was like....hello goats.... Well, we were "dealing" with those goats all day. At one point, one of them jumped into the bed of the truck and was eating our sunflower seeds. Laura exclaimed..."HEY....uh...GET OUT!" Then came the knowledge that David Frank was once a goat herder in California....who knew. So every time they would get too close or take things out of the truck, he'd yell "BAHHHHH" while running at them frantically, waving his hammer and flailing his limbs. However, when I got the plastic house wrap out of the truck and unraveled it, the goats went crazy, bahing and running at me....apparently goats love giant plastic sheets...I was on the extension ladder so I yelled out, "DAVID, what's happening"...He advised that I not look them in the eye and we both strategically retreated. Eventually, the goats withdrew...but the whole time I was doing the house wrap, they just stood there staring at me....watching...waiting.

Tomorrow we return to face the goats...if I don't make it, you guys can have my frosted flakes and my pork chops.

Cheers.

Quote of the day:

But I'm a headed west from the Cumberland Gap
To Johnson City, Tennessee
And I gotta get a move on fit for the sun
I hear my baby callin’ my name
And I know that she's the only one
And if I die in Raleigh
At least I will die free

-Old Crow Medicine Show