Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Is there a burning tire fire near here?... No, it's my new truck

As I mentioned previously, I have recently come into the quasi-ownership of a 1972 Ford 250 Truck. This is going to be my mode of transportation for my time here in Oregon. Assuming she makes it that long. Right now I'm just hoping she'll make it to the end of the week.

Today, my boss Jerry informed me that I will be driving the newly insured tank, er, truck, from now on. The new truck is full of surprises. For example, I found out very quickly that she does not have power steering. This is quite unfortunate news because it makes parking almost IMPOSSIBLE. Also, I discovered that she gets 9 miles to the gallon. Nine. Miles. To. The. Gallon. But at least gas is super cheap in Oregon, only 1.96 a gallon. Where is it where you are... Lastly, I discovered while driving, that she has a real problem shifting into third gear. Actually, it has a problem shifting into ANY gear, but especially third gear.

I left the farm today around 5 with the gas tank bordering on empty. And, to make matters worse, the gas that was in the tank was about 2 years old. So, I headed directly for the gas station which is about 10 miles away. Let me tell you, when this baby's near empty, she purs like a kitten. Also, did you know that when one burns old gas it smells like a dying sun. Vapors and smells emitted from the suffering grandmother of a truck the likes of which probably lowered my life expectancy significantly. I was saying Hail Marys the whole way there, hoping beyond all reason that this thing would not explode in a fiery inferno or worse - run out of gas in town.

I limped into the gas station. Did you know that in Oregon it is illegal to pump your own gas....illegal. Cursed state supreme court. So, the kind Mexican fellow I know at the gas station came over to pump some gas. "Aye Amigo, como aslkasdfluiafd;(incoherent Spanish)askfj que malo!"

"Just fill'er up with premium my good man. Nothing but the best for this vehicle." He also made sure to make fun of the jerky motion of the car when I switched gears.

So, this will be my mode of transportation for the next several weeks. Your prayers will be more than welcome.


p.s. I am thinking up names for my sweet new ride. In consideration are: Buelah, The Belafonte, and Green Thunder.

p.p.s. Gas is not that cheap, that was a joke...


Anonymous said...

With gas being that inexpensive, I suggest just letting the truck idle for long periods of time.

This way you will run out sooner and be able to take advantage of the great gas prices more often!

How about "The Green Goose"?

jennie marie said...

Here are some suggestions for what you should name your truck:

1 - Jennie
2 - The Jolly Green Giant
3 - Tater (in honor of my Tennessee, honkey tonk boyfriend)
4 - Hank
5 - Grainger (and here's why...it's a green ranger...combine the two words - and you get grainger...a little something i do with my cars...for example, my silver jetta's name is sylvetta - got it?)

dies irae said...

Maybe just plain old "Rusty".

Make sure you don't talk bad about the truck while you're near it. I've done that recently with mine and now it's not starting so well.
I also would say don't park it near Fords because it will break down, but I guess you're out of luck.

Christopher J said...

I think you should name it "Vern" for two reasons, both of which depend upon the name's etymology: Vern comes from the latin word for Spring.
1. Your truck is green and thus a springy name would be perfect in this regard.
2. In naming him Spring, you might inspire the old boy, by making him think that you think he's only still in the spring time of his years, when in truth all signs point to the late winter.
Just a thought...

Anonymous said...

How about "The Green Ghost".

"Mr. Green Jeans"


"Green Cooper"

"Oregon Flyer"

"Winery Ruler"

"Owen's Dream"

"Reilly's Beast"

John said...

I stand by my suggestion of the Green Dragon.

Amblyn said...

I am wondering if your trouble shifting into third gear has anything to do with the amazing driving skills that I witnessed in KY.hmmmm?