Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Driving Mr. Joe

Today, a group of us ventured to Eastern Kentucky University to do a driving safety test and obstacle course for CAP. It contained two sessions. The first was in the classroom which was horribly lame and a waste of time. We learned really only one valuable piece of information; apparently, you are supposed to put your hands at 8 and 4 now instead of 10 and 2. It completely blew my mind!...Basically, we wasted 4 hours of good work to sit in this class and go over street signs and watch movies from the late 70's. I can only wonder how many hours of work are wasted on pointless meetings....at least a fourth of my work week will be.

At any rate, I partnered up with Joe, our 77 year old New Orleans friend. First off, Joe is hilarious. Second off, Joe doesn't really like to take directions at certain times. Anyway, there was this car they had called the Monster Car, that had rear wheels like shopping cart wheels. It felt as if we were constantly driving on ice. Anyways, Joe kept spinning out and yelling out, "Oh goodness gracious!" and "AAAAHHHH".... Then there was me, in the back seat, plastered up against the back window from the power of the inertia, hands spread out plastered on the glass, trying very hard not to soil myself. The driving instructor kept yelling out, "Give it some gas! Give it some gas!", he also started singing, "giiivveeee it some gasssssss" like a Pavarotti of sorts. Then we went to the truck portion of the course. Joe was doing a figure 8 and knocked down the vast majority of the cones. I watched in the side mirror as legions of orange cone soldiers fell and were flattened from the onslaught of Joe's driving. After the deed was done, Joe went to the instructor and said, "For Andy the cones stayed still, but for me, they kept moving under the car." The man, looking white as a ghost and bewildered, tried to give us some pointers, but then he wiped his brow and staggered away.

Cheers mates.

As a heads up, the feast day of St. Andrew is coming up on Friday, November 30th. St. Andrew was crucified on November 30th, 60 A.D. Under his request, he was hung on an X-shaped cross because he deemed himself unworthy of being crucified on a cross similar to that of Christ. He hung on the cross preaching the message of Christ for two days before finally dying. Just before his crucifixion, upon seeing his cross, he uttered this prayer ("O Bona Crux").

O good Cross, made beautiful by the body of the Lord: long have I desired you, ardently have I loved you, unceasingly have I sought you out; and now you are ready for my eager soul. Receive me from among men and restore me to my Master, so that he - who, by means of you, in dying redeemed me - may receive me. Amen.

2 comments:

Christopher J said...

Did Joe pass the test then?

Do you really think you'll go bald?

Anonymous said...

I guess now we can better remember the wonderful story of St. Andrew's sacrifice, dying on a cross in the X position, by thinking about the driving instructions of hands at 10 and 2 now changed to 8 and 4.

Enjoy the day Friday!