Saturday, May 31, 2008

The Enemy

This is the enemy.


Let me take you back to a misty February evening. The lake up at camp was cold and a dense fog rolled over its still surface. I had just gone for a run and was walking along the lakeside when suddenly a large figure appeared in the water. It looked to be about 3 feet long and was swimming my way. I whispered, "uh, hello..." like a frightened nancy as the mysterious figure approached. Just then it slapped its tail on the surface with ferocity and dove under water never to be seen again. I let out a very manly scream and ran back home.

Fast forward to the present day. Volunteer life, with its financial shortcomings, forces some of us to search for alternative ways to make a few bucks here and there to fund our fun. For example. Scrap aluminum now is getting 30 cents per pound. And, people here love to throw their cans on the side of the road. So, as if this wasn't obvious enough, Frank and I have been collecting cans to cash in. ... Anyway, Ross man the former Boss man has been annoyed by the beaver for quite some time now. The Beaver is wreaking havoc on the trees around camp as well as the water flow around the camp lake. And, in his state of desperation, he has hired Frank and myself as mercenaries to slay the enemy. 65 dollars, dead or alive (emphasis on dead). When Ross gave us the assignment he just laughed and said, "you wont have any meat left on your arm son."


A couple weeks back, on my birthday actually, Frank and I had a close encounter with our furry nemesis. As we were kayaking around the lake in our small plastic kayaks (intended for children to use) we saw the rodent scramble through the brush and dive into the water near his dam. We strategically retreated to ponder a more... intelligent approach.

After many brainstorming sessions involving home made spears, nail guns from the housing truck, and some sort of club made out of a broken lamp, Frank and I acquired a beaver trap and set it near a downed tree. We have checked for the past 3 days and no beaver. We even tried to provoke it by ramming its dam with our canoes and shouting, "beaver! face us!"

However, our friends at Wikipedia informed us that, "Beavers always work at night and are prolific builders, carrying mud and stones with their fore-paws and timber between their teeth. Because of this, destroying a beaver dam without removing the beavers is difficult, especially if the dam is downstream of an active lodge. Beavers can rebuild such primary dams overnight, though they may not defend secondary dams as vigorously." This round clearly belonged to the beaver.

Today we went out there and put some lunch meat ham in the trap to try to entice it. We shall see how this turns out. Our research has revealed also that beavers are socially playful creatures that "love to play pranks." This is clearly a battle of epic proportions. Who shall get the money, and who shall get their arm bitten off... only time will tell.

More than likely, the result will be this: http://youtube.com/watch?v=E1NkRaU-5xw&feature=related

Cheers and beers.

8 comments:

dies irae said...

city-slickers....

Anonymous said...

Try peanut butter.

Be sure to devise an escape plan.

John said...

last year, my roommates and i were trained by the military in navigation, wilderness survival and marksmanship...if you need some back up, just let me know.

hurtz57 said...

p.s. is the beaver a carnivore?

hurtz57 said...

p.p.s. on the other hand, is 'lunchmeat' meat?

hurtz57 said...

We anxiously await further news of your exploits with this wily R.O.U.S. Good hunting!

hurtz57 said...

We anxiously await further news of your exploits with this wily R.O.U.S. Good hunting!

Anonymous said...

LOL!