Monday, June 9, 2008

Captain's log: the war has begun

Last Friday, I was at work minding my own business. I went to check my voice mail at the truck to get a drink and get out of the sun for a minute. I had one message. It was from a frantic David Frank. It sounded something like this:

"Andy, Beaver here, come quick, we got it, at the camp, beaver Andy, Beaver! Beaver!....(Inaudible screeching) Beaver!"

I called him back to hear the following story from Frank.

Frank: "Well, I was on a hike with the camp counselors at orientation. We heard some rustling down in the bush and discovered that the beaver had been caught, at last! It was caught in a trap set by one of the maintenance guys and it was angry fierce, thrashing about. It was about 4 feet long including the tail and was rather unfriendly looking."
So, Frank went back to inform the maintenance man (who shall remain nameless, we will call him Kurt) who set the trap. Kurt called up a buddy of his who quickly brought over a 38 revolver. He got a twinkle in his eyes, a crooked smile, and said, "Let's roll." They paddled over to the other side of the lake where the beaver was. Frank's little heart was beating like a small boy's on a Christmas morning. Maybe a boy who has recently tried to kiss a girl for the first time in a Thai restaurant parking lot. At any rate, he was excited.

When they arrived at the site, to their great depression, the beaver had escaped, chewed through 2 trees and shook the trap! Heartbreak.

The beaver is now caught, injured, escaped, at large, and presumed dangerous.

Beaver: 1
Us: 0

Cheers.



"For I go gathering Christian men
From sunken paving and ford and fen,
To die in a battle, God knows when,
By God, but I know why.

"And now two blasts, the hunting sign,
Because we turn to bay;
But I will not blow the three blasts,
Till we be lost or they.

And now I blow the hunting sign,
Charge some by rule and rod;
But when I blow the battle sign,
Charge all and go to God."

excerpts from G. K. Chesterton's Ballad of the White Horse

4 comments:

a.e. nee said...

you and frank are no match for the genius and sheer brute strength of the wild beaver! and to kisses in thai restaurant parking lots i can only say "eeeyylll"

dies irae said...

Was David the first one it saw? Since the beaver was injured it may be out to avenge itself on him.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, like we believe you were minding your own business! Secretly, your mind was wandering and calculating about how you might catch the furry, toothy, mighty creature.
Sounds like a prize speciman, enough for a beaver skin coat for those cold Kentucky winter mornings.
Maybe you can lure him back with the left over Thai food?

samwise gamgee said...

yes, i suspect the beaver seeks to avenge it's injury on the unsuspecting david frank.