Friday, January 1, 2010

Important message to expecting fathers

Men,

Here are some rules I have learned when caring for your expecting wife.

1. Never wake a sleeping pregnant woman... it's like waking a sleeping grizzly bear. Do it if you have to but don't be surprised if you get mauled or catch a giant paw to the face.

2. Never take a pregnant woman's pizza rolls.

3. Never tell a pregnant woman that morning sickness is "all in your head".

4. Never point anything out you may be noticing - ever.

5. Never complain about being tired, you just can't win the debate over who is more tired.

6. Dishes, laundry, and cleaning products are your friends.

7. Turning up the thermostat for comfort is well worth the high bill.

8. Be advised: any refusal for late night food runs or refusals of any kind really will be met with comments such as, "oh, I'm just carrying your child" or some such comment.

Best of Luck, God Speed.

Cheers.

2 comments:

phampants said...

Andy, I'll always remember this. Also, I hope you weren't mauled too badly (or often).

Anonymous said...

If you learned #3 from experience, you are the biggest jerk ever.